A Short Story #2 - Grayness

Grayness

Unpredictable heart, unreasonable hearts and minds. Falling in love is part of it, part of the unexpected ridiculous thing. Is the happiness of falling in love able to overcome the pain that is given? Does anyone want to vouch for that? No one wants to feel pain, but isn't pain unpredictable? No one wants to plan for the pain, but pain doesn't always take sides.

Before it gets too far and before this story gets written down. It should be noted that happiness has not shown its presence, happiness has not felt it is something that is important in this story, and happiness hasn't glanced at this story as a story that needs it. It was still indifferent, uncaring, uninterested in this ridiculous emotionally draining story. Let it go, it will come when it knows fate has written and made it a part of this story. Which part to tell first? A fairy tale prince? An ordinary young woman? The heartbreak of a young girl has literally been waiting for? Or about a charming young actor who is able to portray each character perfectly? Many things can be told from different perspectives too, but let's try to understand from the story of her.

A stubborn young woman who seems indifferent despite having such a small and loving heart. Only those closest to her could see that, no it's not, in fact that woman was elusive. Including herself, she does not understand herself. She's so complicated. heart, mind, herself, they're so complicated. Complexity that can make her feel tired of dealing with it all. And in her mind, falling in love only adds to the complexity. However, she continued to do so all these years. She always cursed this feeling, cursed this stupid thing, she did not like being in this kind of feeling; something that hurts. 

The woman fell in love, to a man who was so charming and enchanting. the tall, pale-skinned man, beautiful bushy black hair, have sharp brown eyes like a hawk's gaze with the very charming thick eyebrows, a sharp nose like a person of European descent, and naturally plump pink thin lips. It's just a small feature, he is more beautiful as he is a human being with such an amazing soul. However, in reality, the woman has never met the man. The woman is only able to see and know the man in the unreal world, a world full of lies. In that place, she felt close to the man, it was able to make her happy until she felt confident enough to make it second place, a place that gives her a sense of calm, a place where not everyone can understand that.  

She felt so ridiculous, but she couldn't leave. She had loved him, for a long time. She doesn't hide her feelings, no pretense. Loving that man has been a long part of her days. She has lived with hope, she has made friends with loneliness and worries. Strange, she labeled herself as a strange woman. Her feelings for that man made her a strange woman. How could she love a man she'd never met? How could she love a man who doesn't know her existence? How could she love a man who doesn't even know that she is in this world? It's all weird. It's all nonsense. Denying the existence of these feelings only made her hurt more. However, she couldn't deny the feelings that had been in her heart for years. she couldn't deny it, one bit, absolutely, can't. She knew this feeling was unreasonable, so what should she do? Give suggestions that don't make her look even more insane.

She is alone- no, she is accompanied by her feelings. They were both in a world full of lies and hopes, but they never once tried to get out of there. Are they not tired? Doesn't that just hurt them? Was that woman so stupid to hang in there alone? where is that man? Why is it so hard for that man to be friends with her? Did that man not feel the presence of that stupid woman at all? what do they actually do? Aren't they already in a close place but why is it so hard to stand side by side? 

They are not close, they are indeed together somewhere, but have you forgotten that place is not promising? There is nothing there, only emptiness, demands, competition, and lies. The place promises nothing. It was just a gray empty space with nothing to step on and no proper guide, no maps, nothing. However, that empty room has also been successfully inhabited by uncertainty. Uncertainty has dominated friends with wishful thinking and shadows. The woman will be alone with her feelings, the uncertainty is a waste of time, and the man? Is he coming? And does this question have an answer? Is time the answer to many things? For everything? 

Why doesn't she just go? she should go away from that uncertainty, get out, and forget about the man who didn't even glance at her, forgetting the man wouldn't be that bad, isn't it? It just takes faith and intention to do it. She didn't want to, she didn't want to do it. 

She was actually capable of doing that, but she didn't want to, her heart didn't want to do that one bit. She prefers to wait, anywhere, for him. She doesn't have the slightest intention to leave even just turning around, she won't do it. She survives, who knows how long, waits who knows how long, alone who knows how long. She loved this man, very, very deeply. She was always there, hoping that one day the man would turn around and take her tiny hand with a beautiful smile. She waited, hoping that one day he would love her as deeply and sincerely as she did. However, isn't sincere love an unconditional love? And shouldn't she wish the same thing? Isn't beautiful love the love that is reciprocated? Isn't beautiful love what happens when the two love each other? Is there anything more beautiful than being loved by someone we love?